Because they were unreasonable, impossible to answer or have been answered over and over again.

Define your understanding of proper safeguarding and I will respond.

We have gone above and beyond the guidelines for the protection concept of the Safe Sports agency (Stelle zur Prävention sexualisierter und interpersoneller Gewalt im Sport des Kreissportbund Ennepe-Ruhr e.V., verantwortliche Stelle innerhalb des Landessportbund NRW).

This is a nice example of you asking questions over and over again. And same time repeating false information again. Luckily, I only have to scroll up on this page to just copy and paste my answer.

“You asked to suspend your ex during the camp mentioned above. This is also when you first expressed that you were afraid of him. The team acted before you or your ex returned from camp. Your ex was suspended on Monday, July 28. You were informed the same day.”

To clarify again: You INSISTED to sleep at your ex place he night of July 19-20. You went one a two-day trip (overnight), traveling together with him, to a camp. I provide this information to show, that no one could possibly know, that you were afraid of him.
The camp started on July 22. You SUDDENLY told me, that you were afraid of your ex and demanded him to be removed from the team several times between July 22. and 27. He got suspended on July 28.

To clarify further: You DID NOT ask for your ex to be removed before t July 22. You DID NOT express safety concerns before July 22.

More clarity: The claim, that your ex has been teaching or training during opening hours until August 23 is FALSE. He got suspended July 28.

I honestly can’t tell anymore if you are spreading this false information and repeat yourself as if on autopilot to damage my reputation or whether there is another problem.

This is just to make it clear that I do not adopt the term “abusive instructor” as my own:
The instructor in question is not convicted. To my knowledge he has no criminal record. He denies the allegations. To my knowledge there have been no witnesses or physical traces to support the allegation.

You are answering your own question here. He had access to the gym outside of opening hours to clean it. That was part of his job. Why would we suspend him from that too? He wasn't fired. You don't seem to understand the difference between a temporary suspension and a punishment.

He was NOT allowed to coach or teach the students. You KNOW that! I already provided proof of your knowledge earlier on this thread.
And he did NOT do that either. You also know that from talking to numerous members of the team.

As I know you will bring this up: After some time, when we realized this suspension was going to take some time, he was allowed to train outside of business hours. He did that with a couple competitors. Every single one of them was aware of the allegations and made a conscious decision to do so.

Please indicate what measures you would have considered necessary to ensure your safety.

As this is a German thread really, I will now go here.

This song, is based on a very true story.

As, I know, many of you, already know.

Before the Wall came down, a Soviet officer was tasked with command over a project, to detect an early missile strike, and respond.

The System, implemented in a rushed fashion, detected a positive sign of nuclear missile strike.

The Soviet Officer in Charge, halted the automatic response, and called Moscow.

He was the designer of the system, he knew it was rushed, and flawed.

Moscow ordered him to launch a nuclear strike.

He refused, knowing the limitations of the informing system.

And Weather Balloons, which were the culprit, did not result in World War III.

The Soviet Officer, from that East Berlin Office was rewarded with an all expense paid lifetime appointment to Siberia,

And recently died a few years ago, as an unsung Hero, for averting everything we know, about this area, we now call Germany, much less Berlin, being something out of a Science Fiction movie.

So, perhaps, we should all be more careful, before deploying, our "nukes"....

https://www.youtube.com/w[...]pu5a0Bl8eY

…and another ironical facet is, that NENA was born in Hagen, which is a City very close to the place this discussed case took place.
Not a fact anyone should be aware of, but -and that is maybe one reason I did not leave this misleaded thread- it is the place I was born over 50 years ago, too.

However, this post is not more OT than most of the posts before….🤷‍♂️

Well, if the title of the thread is: "BRAINSTORMING ABOUT REPORTING AND PREVENTING SEXUAL ASSAULT/ABUSE WITHIN BJJ COMMUNITY"

Here is what we have learned about that topic, in this thread.

DV and Sexual Assaults happen, and so do false accusations.

There are also companies and parties that profit by targeting survivors of DV and SA, but some of them may be predatory, in their marketing, and they may be attracting that vulnerable population, to groom that vulnerable population, for their own predatory practices.

Those same organizations, may ironically claim to help their audience spot and resist cults, while the organization itself may be utilizing all kinds of cult dynamics to brain wash their members, and may actually be a cult.

Those organizations may also sensationalize their marketing using FUD campaigns (appealing to Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt) which is a highly effective type of campaign to sway gullible public opinion, that was popular in the Roman Empire, and ever since, and has been used effectively, if evilly, widely in the days of social media as well.

We know that any organization or content that takes the position that ALL males are abusers, or that ALL females are abusers, is probably a highly toxic organization.

Those overly broad positions are not only false, but sexist borderline hate speech against entire sex types, and are signs that the organization pushing those narratives is itself using cult dynamics to market themselves and possibly to groom its audience as well.

Likewise, any organization that takes the position, that all accusations must be believed, and an accusation should be treated as proof of guilt, is a toxic organization, and that too, is also a sign of a cult dynamic, as it encourages its audience to disregard the importance of evidence, and critical thinking.

Witch hunts are Evil, and people and organizations that hold themselves out to the public as WitchFinder Generals, are preying on the gullible public, and targeting vulnerable populations for their own profit and gain.

Lynch mobs with pitchforks, and their online equivalents, that disregard due process, should be discouraged by rationale people, and not encouraged.

The fact that these are very old scams (meaning the use of FUD narratives) but every generation still tends to fall for them, suggests that P.T. Barnum and certain Roman leaders were correct: "The Public loves a Circus", and often cares more about blood, than facts or reality.

So, yes, we should take accusations very seriously, and treat the accuser with dignity, and respect, and investigate those claims seriously, using evidence based approaches.

And, unless we are monsters, we should also treat accused parties with dignity, and at least in the United States, with due process including a presumption of innocence, unless actual evidence shows beyond a reasonable doubt, that they are guilty.

Otherwise, we are left with a public so gullible, that they might be ready to lynch an individual or a group based on the narrative that "immigrants are eating people's pets", or other such FUD nonsense.

I would add, that a group that charges money, especially a for profit group, or that of a non-profit group that pays generous salaries to it's benefiting employees,

to give seminars about DV and SA, well, that is a major red flag, that the group is simply using that vulnerable population for its own selfish purposes.

Likewise, a group that makes significant profits selling content about the topic, is not necessarily a true advocacy group, but may be preying on that vulnerable group, or otherwise using that vulnerable group for purely commercial purposes.

Much like selling high priced Bibles to the desperate and poor, or relics, prayer ribbons, etc, is not advocacy for those vulnerable groups, but a parasitic commercialization of them, and their vulnerable state.

There are plenty of true non-profits that provide their content, and training for free, and do not pay their benefiting employees outrageous salaries.

Although, separately, there are major problems worldwide, with "non-profits" that pay their benefiting employees really (high) egregious salaries, and those organizations are profiting those benefiting employees, even if they are exploiting a non-profit status, to do so.

So, monetized content offerings such as "How to avoid becoming a victim of DV or SA for just $99" are displaying an exploitation for profit red flag right away.

Likewise, monetized content offerings such as "How to avoid your gym being accused of DV or SA for just $499" or "How not be an abusive gym for just $299" are displaying an exploitation for profit red flag right away.

Then there are groups that cultishly use the narrative, that if an individual, group, or organization does not endorse a certain set of narratives, then the dissenting individual or group, will then be targeted as "the enemy", with harassment, and social extortion.

That too, is a red flag of both a cult, and a predatory and toxic group, or organization.

So, as in so many things, one has to look to see if there are money flows, and financial conflicts of interest, as well.

As an example, the IBJJF is a highly commercial operation. They do require Safesport training, and First Aid training for their certified coaches.

But, they are also charging quite a lot of money in predictable and recurring revenues in order for Coaches to have certified rank, and are pretty strict about not giving up any of those back revenues, even for highly qualified coaches, and they are a for profit enterprise, whose purpose is to commercially make money, not to advocate for Jiu-Jitsu quality assurance as an altruistic organization on a charitable mission.

Likewise, groups claiming to advocate for vulnerable populations, but charge monies for profit to do so, are not altruistic groups or organizations, they are commercial ones, doing so for money and profit.

Sounds a whole like paying for protection from the mob. Hmmmm.

I haven't said anything much on this thread yet, because I think I have personally met everybody involved in the case Sarah and Bernd have been discussing.

However, I did want to jump in to clarify what Off the Zone is like, as I don't think that's come across. I'm a school owner who has paid for that program and been happy with it.

They don't sell a one-off seminar, it's more like the Grapplers Guide (a one-off fee for lifetime access). They've built up a large repository of videos (to which they keep adding) covering a broad range of topics, with a range of different speakers.

Also, it would be good to hear more female voices on this thread. Though I guess there aren't many active female posters on Beltchecker.

Hi, not an "active" poster on Beltchecker, but as Can said i can also attest to how happy i have been with Off the Zone. when i started the programm years ago i did not know them. I am truly grateful for what i have learned and it has helped me help numerous people through the years. Other than that there is not much i can offer to the thread as my gym has always been like a home; caring, safe, a place where my kid could literally grow up on the mats, filled with a whole bunch of people who i trust with my (and my daughters) life. I wish everyone could have what i have. But as BJJ and the internet (connections) grows so does the overwhelming sadness that places like ours are a rariety.

I am delighted that you feel that your gym is a safe and happy place for you.

Most people tend to find their BJJ gym, as their happy place, where they feel safe, surrounded by friends.

That is the norm for most BJJ practitioners, and therefore the base case norm for most BJJ gyms, and therefore not rare at all.

Of course outliers exist, as they do in all professions, all institutions, all sex types, and all races.

And, of course a demographic that enjoys getting choked, and choking people, and/or MMA, as their recreational hobby is sometimes correlated with exhibiting risk loving, or deliberate ignorance to risk behaviors....

But if someone or any group, is putting out the narrative that most BJJ gyms are not as the norm, or the majority, happy places, where their practitioners feel safe,

they had better have some objective data to back that claim up, beyond just testimonials about programs selling Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt programs and narratives.

As an example, the law was changed in the U.S. several years ago to recognize a female adult who has sexual relations with juvenile male as statutory rape, with a requirement to report and prosecute those incidents as crimes, now (meaning treat them the same as male adults to female juveniles).

And overnight, we saw daily reports of female school teachers across the U.S. having sex with their middle school or high school male students, in about the same frequency as the male school teachers.

Ironically, we also saw greater numbers of female prison guards sexually abusing juvenile male inmates, than male prison guards sexually abusing female juvenile inmates.

But, that does not mean in a nation of 330 documented people (the U.S., for instance), that the norm case for female school teachers, or female prison guards, is that they are sexual predators of male juveniles.

It means that the reporting of the cases has gotten widespread, and in the age of social media particularly, spread like wildfire, so there is very, very high visibility and eyeball share on them.

And, because they are horrible cases, they get lots of shares, and comments, and eyeballs, and regular media also loves them for the same reason.

Just as cases of male sexual abusers get high shares, comments, and likes, and the regular media, likewise loves them for the same reason, they are easily converted to brand dollars, because they are horrible cases, that get high eyeball share.

Likewise, any group or individual that takes the position, that:
all males are abusers, or all women are abusers,
or all straight people are abusers, or all gay people are abusers,
or all people of a certain religion (or atheists) are abusers,
or all people from a certain race or ethnic background are criminals,
is putting out extremely bigoted speech, that is in fact a type of hate speech.

And, if they are a commercial enterprise, doing so, they must be regarded very suspiciously if they do so.

Because it is extremely easy, and effective, to generate money flows, by selling Fear narratives.

And, even outside of commercial conflicts of interest, for people selling and marketing commercial programs, regarding putting out Fear narratives, human beings are also often prone to gossip, and sometimes even enjoy branding people with a social "Scarlet Letter".

So BJJ has it's share of abusers, and more than it's fair share of risk loving or risk ignoring knuckle heads.

But, most BJJ coaches, male or female, are not sexual predators, and are no more prone to domestic violence, than the general population (perhaps controlling for long term CTE, and substance abuse issues).

Most BJJ gyms are not human trafficking children either, nor running fighting dog rings, nor are they eating pets.

There is always going to be opinions on what a good gym is or isn´t. There will always be a difference of opinion. As there seems to be today. My comment is not a half arsed thought i had, nor a narrative that i am putting out, it is a reality that has come to pass, the objective data being every single person whom i have had a conversation with about their gym the good and the bad. The objective data being the fact that i have helped alot of people. You don´t have to agree or cite paragraphs upon paragraphs of information that have not alot to do with what i wrote. Like i don´t have to try to explain why i think you are wrong. We can all have our opinions and be merry or not

Of course you can have your own opinion, and state it.
But what may be a rarity for you, may not be rare for others.
And, there is no data that suggests that BJJ gyms or coaches, are abusive or predatory as a base case.
That maligns an entire demographic, profession, and group with an overly broad brush.
That may be your opinion, but other people can certainly have other opinions, than yours.
Especially since the opinion you stated is strictly anecdotal without objective data.

Not what i said was it.

Well good.
It seemed like you were saying that your gym was a non-abusive / safe BJJ gym, and that was rarity, thus implying that BJJ gyms other than your own were not safe, or were abusive as the norm.
I am delighted to hear that that’s not the case, and that’s not a statement that you made, as that would be a hell of a way to complement one’s own gym, at the expense of the alternatives to one’s own gym, or group or tribe….

Yes, Good. You coulda just asked me right out if that was what i meant #justsayin

Fair enough.
Thank you for the conversation.